5.14.2012

Things I'm Afraid To Tell You — Wave No. 2


After Jess's Things I'm Afraid To Tell You post (and #2 and #3) that inspired Ez to start a movement, I had a feeling there were others that wanted to do the same, but of course — were afraid. How many of you have the post in drafts, but just can't hit publish? For some reason, doing it in a group feels easier, like alright if everyone is going to air their secrets at the same time it makes me feel less insecure about mine. True, right? Thank goodness Jess has balls.

So I emailed a bunch of bloggers to see if they were game for another round of Things I'm Afraid To Tell You. I was delighted to see how many were not only game, but were excited about it.

See my Things I'm Afraid To Tell You, and the list of bloggers posting a Things I'm Afraid To Tell You post today after the jump!

Whew, here we go.

I had a few breakdowns last year.  Not hospital-level or anything, but I don't really break down — and I definitely don't tell people about it (except family and a few close friends). I'm a pretty have-it-together type of person. However, it's been a rough few years, and last year took the cake. After moving to the suburbs of DC (in Virginia — which is lovely), however, my location was isolating. I tried finding the right job, that never happened. Maybe I wasn't supposed to because what I really wanted to do was pursue my passions. Problem was I was so confused! I had lots of passions and I didn't feel like I knew which ones to pursue. After months of extreme stress, not leaving my condo for days, and probably not showering either (ew!), I had several freak outs. Mostly just by myself, sometimes to my husband. Once I was in the middle of writing a cover letter for a job, and I physically just couldn't type anymore and just started crying. There was lots of crying, not feeling like I could breathe, all of that stress/anxiety stuff. I finally had all of this time since I left my corporate job to pour into my dreams, but I was still trying to figure out which dreams to pour my time into. I would spend days flushing out an idea, writing a business plan for it, researching the industry, making lists of people to contact, talking to a few friends about it, and then realize that I didn't really want to do it. I didn't want it to be my "job". I am finally out of my funk. We moved into the city, which makes it much easier for me to go to events, hang out with the friends I've made, and collaborate with others in the area. After a few months I started to realize the things that I really want to put my time into. I'm still figuring everything out, but it's so much better. Be warned, going out on your own in any type of freelancing or business is really hard and stressful. It's still hard and stressful for me, but it's getting much much better.

I feel guilty when I take long hot showers. And I take long hot showers every day. I feel guilty because so many areas of the world don't have the luxury of endless clean not-to-mention-hot water. But I still take long hot showers, and I love them.

I don't have a coffee table. I haven't had one since we moved to the east coast, so it's been over a year. I literally have to set my drink on the floor if I want to sit on our old blue couch with a drink. Less than half of all my furniture and decor do I actually like or feel represents my style at this point. At 29, as a lifestyle blogger, this is just embarrassing to me. I've had to turn down many "home tours" because my place (even though I absolutely love my new place) what I have in it just doesn't reflect my style. So why not go out and get a freaking coffee table!?! I shall remind you that I work for myself, and I just have to be more frugal. I'm also being super picky about it because there's a good chance I'll be stuck with it far longer than I thought I would be, so I want to make the right decision, about every piece of furniture and decor I invest in.

I don't feel successful yet. My expectations for myself are high. HIGH high. It will take a lot for me to feel truly satisfied with the work I've done, paintings I've finished, projects I've accomplished, collaborations I've done, and I just thought I'd be a lot further along in my career by 29. Honestly, I really wanted to be featured in (OK the cover was the real goal) a national magazine by the time I was 30, and I'm counting down the months at this point. Anything from Inc. or Entrepreneur to Marie Claire or Lucky, I just wanted to have had created something amazing that warranted a feature like that. As someone that has been blogging for almost five years, it can be really hard sometimes (even though I am genuinely happy for them) to see some bloggers become crazy successful in less than a year or two. My family and friends tell me I don't give myself enough credit for what I have done, or press I have gotten. I can admit that having a spread in The Washington Post was probably the coolest thing ever, but I just know that I'm capable of so much more, and I have so many ideas that it's hard to enjoy anything for very long. I just don't want to ever look back on this time in my life — a time where I choose what I do every day because I work for myself — and think, I could have and should have done more, worked harder, tried harder. I look back on last year and think that, so I don't want to do it again. I'm determined not to. Here we are already almost half way through 2012... where does the time go!?! I feel like I'm working into the night most nights, and still have so much to get accomplished.

Adults who talk baby talk (to other adults and kids) really annoy me. That pretty much sums that up.

I'm agnostic. This is something I've never talked about because it is obviously such a sensitive subject for many people. Not to mention, I grew up going to Catholic schools, then I was a Christian, and now I'm agnostic. I'm sure you can imagine why I haven't wanted to say this. Several reasons: I don't want to lose readers over it. Also, I'm not trying to start a comment war or any type of discussion about the subject. I'm not looking to debate it or create any drama. I respect what anyone chooses to believe, but after really examining things for myself, I don't believe in god. Nor do I expect that I ever will, unless he comes down from heaven (which I also don't believe in) and reveals himself to me. And at that point, I would probably believe. But until then, I don't. This isn't a subject I plan to bring up frequently either, so don't worry, I'm not writing a religion vs. non-religion blog here.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. If you have done or do a Things I'm Afraid To Tell You Post, please leave a link to your exact post in the comments.


Bloggers Who Are Participating in Wave No.2:

Cassie: Coco + Kelley / Christine: Court & Hudson / Caitlin: Sacramento Street / Roxy: My Cup of Te / Crystal: Blog / Meg: MIMI+MEG / Ashlina: The Decorista / Katie: Modern Eve / Erin: Apartment 34 / Erica: Design Blahg / Victoria: Vmac & Cheese / Christine: Miles to Style / Franki: Life in a Venti Cup  / Sue: The Zhush / Erika: Radiant Republic / Gabrielle: Savvy Home / Monika: The Doctor's Closet / Naomi: Design Manifest /Tobe: Because It's Awesome / Becca: {extra}ordinary wonders / Lynzy: Sparkling Footsteps / Hitha: Hitha On The Go / Sarah: Note To Self / Liz: So Much To Smile About / Sarah: Blogstar / Alissa: The Goods Design / Jessie: Style & Pepper / Erika: Small Shop Studio  / AV: Long Distance Loving / Maggie: Maggie Rose Blog / Nicole: The City Girl In Me / Priscilla: The Best Laid Plans / Jen: Concrete Jungle DC / Janelle: Food Fashion Fitness / Natalie: East Coast Chic

Thanks again to Jess for her initial post, and to Ez for starting the movement. 

Here are the bloggers that participated in Ez's Wave No. 1 of Things I'm Afraid To Tell You:

Design for Mankind | Little Brown Pen | Beautiful Hello | Curating Style | Sweet Fine Day | The Jealous Curator | Happy Days | Sage & Berries | Really Handmade | Peck Life | Satsuma Press | Rena Tom | For the Easily Distracted | The Hemborg Wife | Vitamini Handmade | Courtney Khail Stationery and Design | Meg in Progress | Dando Photography Blog | Widdershins22 | Alison Citron | Pink Moon Daily | Just Pretty Things | From China Village | Tea with Me | The Darling Ewe | Not Your Average Ordinary | The Electric Typewriter | Elleby Design | Parsimonia {Secondhand With Style} | Life as an Artistpreneur | Hello Cupcake | Dellie | The A & B Stories | Pretty Little Things | Feistyelle | Nib & Zed | Well and Cheaply | I Ripple. I Dance. | Whitfield Awesome Blog | Foxtrot Press | Dry As Toast | The List of Now | Apple Blue | For the Love of | Four Flights of Fancy | Miss Modish | Snapshots & Secrets | Dirty Laundry | Bubby & Bean | Penelope's Press | Little Nostalgia | Vale Design | Pikaland | Fleurishing | Print Pretty | Vespa Tales | Hazel & Agnes | Amanda's Musings | Mo' Funk Designs | Ordinary Mommy | Camp 1899 | In Honor of Design | Liberty's Yarn | Love, Life & Pictures | Stacey Winters | Owl in the Rain | Living Life Creatively | Emma Elizabeth Clease | I Live in Vacouver Now | British Cream Tea

Image via Ez

66 comments:

Lynzy said...

Thanks for reaching out to me about posting this. I find it extremely comforting to know that the blogs we read on a daily basis also go through similar events/situations. We are not all perfect and we can help share our experiences to make others' feel like they are not alone.

xx Lynzy

Liz {Sequins And Stripes} said...

This is such a refreshing series and such a relief to see that bloggers you idolize are experiencing and feeling the same wave of pressure, defeat, etc. Keep doing what you're doing, it's great.

Modern Country Lady said...

Thank you so much for writing this.I too have started my own dream business and have never been so stressed in my life! I have read Naomi (from design Manifest) her post about Things I am afraid to tell you and thus found your original post.This is so helpful . I would like to write a post about this on my blog as I think it can help- a lot! So please put me on your list of bloiggers with this post and I will write the post today.TRhank you so much for highlighting this and being brave to stand out.

Meg Biram said...

@Modern Country Lady when you have your post done, please leave a link to it in the comments. Thanks.

Chelsea C. said...

I've just been feeling so inspired by this whole awesome movement, and your post is no exception. Congrats on the courage! Here's mine from last week:
http://www.lovelyindeed.com/things-im-afraid-to-tell-you/

Chedva said...

You got me with the expectations part. Why do we have to be so tough on ourselves?

Chassity (Look Linger Love) said...

Dude. It's shocking for me to read that battle with this stuff. For two reason. One, I'd never ever ever guess it. Two, your blog is the bomb dignity. I love everything you do, and you have the most amazing ideas. Such thought goes into your posts, and I adore it.

Sarah Bryden-Brown said...

Meg, I really enjoyed reading your list and thank you for organizing the second wave! I love your blog and know that thousands of others do too! Timing and luck count for a lot but without having it all going on, timing and luck can't help you out. You certainly have it all going on! See you in NYC. x

Hitha On The Go said...

Thanks for inviting me to share, Meg! While writing the post was a bit terrifying, it feels great to share some of the things that have been on my mind. I hope we make this a regular feature!

Nat said...

I'm so glad that I'm participating in this today- thank you for setting it up! I completely understand with the not being successful part (I'm def not in my "dream job" right now) but I feel like you're accomplished so much and you are definitely headed on the track to even greater success.

Erika [small shop] said...

Um Meg I have breakdowns daily! But seriously I commend you on recognizing a contributing factor, taking control, and changing your situation.
And it's funny, I see you as so incredibly talented, I had assumed it was all so easy for you. Washington Post? Not surprised. And I still won't be surprised when I continue to see you featured.
Thank you Meg, you are amazing!

Modern Country Lady said...

Hi Meg, Thanks! here's the link http://moderncountrylady.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/things-i-am-afraid-to-tell-you.html

heather (love your space) said...

I'm so interested that you chose to bring up religion here, and find you brave. As I find my way deeper into the design blog world, I have been really surprised how much "god" comes in to people's posts. No judgement, just surprise. I can see why, in this context, this is a "thing you are afraid to tell us."

I've been really enjoying other posts in this wave. thank you for putting it forward.

laura parke said...

i'm so proud of you for writing this post. for being real and sharing the tough stuff. you inspire people even when you yourself are going through tough times. and even amidst the tough things life has thrown your way, i've seen you come back stronger each time. you've got one loud, joyful cheerleader in support of you!! can't wait to see where your dreams take you. and instead of a coffee table, how about a stack of books or magazines? we all know you love those mags. :) xoxo!

Gloria said...

I'm going through A LOT of the same career/dreams turmoil right now, so it's a relief to see that I'm not the only one who feels so lost and frustrated sometimes! I actually worked at Inc. magazine for 5 years, which inspired me to realize that I want to be doing something that puts me IN the magazine, instead of behind the scenes :-)

Viviana said...

It's so refreshing to hear that we ALL have problems, issues, and just things we're afraid to say out loud.

Julie and Lauren said...

Very refreshing and honest!!! It's comforting to know that people share some of the same thoughts and experiences. X

My Interior Life said...

I've really enjoyed reading everyone's refreshing honesty. I think figuring out what you want to do in life is a full-time job, and you've done a phenomenal job (I'm about 10 years older and am way behind you). Just chatted with Tobe via email and realized you all will be at Blogfest next week. I'll be there too and can't wait to meet you!

Gabrielle | Savvy Home said...

Meg, thank you so much for thinking of this series! It's crazy to see how we're all so alike! I frequently break down as well and I'm constantly feeling like I'm not doing enough or not good enough. It's also hard to accept that our houses are not magazine cover worthy and our outfits wouldn't stop the Sartorialist in his tracks when we're all on blogger/small business/startup salary. What it does show is that we're ambitious and hard working and those things are bound to take us places! X

Naomi@DesignManifest said...

Meg, you are a rockstar! Thanks for sharing.

For me the stress results in sleep issues, anxiety, holding my breath and having moments of complete frozen-ness. (Often times days before a big design presentation is due!)

Thanks so much for asking me to participate.

Rachel S said...

Great post, like always! I am very much impresses with your work..

ModernSauce said...

I love LOVE this idea! Internet life ain't all glitter and glam! Thanks for sharing and for your part in organizing this movement!

jen @concrete jungle dc said...

i think it's amazing you organized so many bloggers for round 2. it's hard to put it out there. i'm really happy I participated even though it was difficult to write.

Nuha said...

I know that blogging isn't always the perfect meal that it seems, but I would never have thought that you and I shared so many of the same insecurities and fears. Take it from someone who absolutely adores you and your blog- I envy your talent! I think today you should reward yourself with something special, you deserve it :-)

The Zhush said...

Meg, I too think of you as a rock star! Thanks so much for including me in the second wave movement, starting a wave takes guts, combined with a great creative soul, that's how I see you, and this post only reinforces my high opinion of you!

Brooke Shemwell said...

I appreciate your honesty on this subject. As someone who's been (only) blogging for 10 months it can seem daunting and I get that 'what's the use??' feeling often. But I do keep at it, because who knows if I'll actually get 10 comments in one day?? I would be ecstatic! And I also related to you in that you had so many things you wanted to do it was hard to narrow down your career or focus. I am so in that boat. I'm ready to actually be amazing at one thing!

Jenn @ Dear Heart said...

Meg,

Thank you for sharing all of this and I so relate. I'm usually proud of where I am, but when you pour yourself into your blog, it can be hard to fail to meet your own(maybe too high)expectations.

For what it's worth, you consistently exceed mine!I remember when you first moved to DC and Nikki and I met you at that CB2 event. The way you've taken DC by storm should be proof enough that you can make any situation a success.

Hugs!

Jenn

Lexi said...

I LOVE this. It's making me feel like all of the insecurities I have about my blog, my job, my life - they're all completely normal - and all at once. Thanks, Meg.
♡ Lexi
FASHION: Glitter & Pearls
WEDDINGS: Glitter Weddings

Hawlie Ohe- Fab Housewife said...

I am so loving this movement! I recently started on my blog full-time, which has been so overwhelming. The self-doubt and fears have caused several mini-meltdowns, and one huge one last week. It's reassuring to know, not just that I'm not alone, but in good company...even the most inspiring bloggers like yourself have similar experiences! Reading several of these has had such a calming effect for me. I imagine writing it was even more therapeutic. Thank you so much for sharing, and for the honesty.

-Hawlie Ohe, Fab Housewife

Alexa said...

I have so enjoyed reading all of these Meg. It's so nice to see bloggers open up. Makes me think about my own faults and imperfections.

Mademoiselle Frou-Frou said...

Good for you doing this! You really were so bold to share about yourself, but the irony is that so many of us are afraid to share the exact same problems. Who knew we all had so much in common?! I relate on quite a few levels to you (hello panic attacks!), and I have such respect for you for sharing.
xoxo alison

Pris said...

Loved participating in this series! Thanks for telling me about it! I totally hear you a lot of those points -- people who talk baby talk? Can't stand them! And if you makes you feel better, my house is in all sorts of disarray and doesn't totally reflect me either!

Heidi Cocking said...

Wow look at all these comments you've received! This is such an amazing initiative! Being a blogger is tough, and it's such a misconception that it's easy and airy fairy. I've written a post on this whole movement today - let me know what you think! http://www.nylonlifestyle.com/2012/05/things-im-afraid-to-tell-you/

Love your blog! Heidi x

wishful nals said...

thanks so much for sharing! xo

Lexy @ The Proper Pinwheel said...

Go girl on the second wave! You're such an initiator. I loved reading your list and it is wonderful hearing other bloggers' honesty. Here's a link to my post.

http://theproperpinwheel.com/2012/05/the-things-im-afraid-to-tell-you-post/

I posted last week and was super nervous about it. Since it's out I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. Thank you for your inspiration!!!

Lonely Wife Project said...

This might be the best series in blogland! I blogged about some of my biggest fears a few months ago including: rape and not being able to have kids. I got such a great response from readers. I really think people want to hear more about the real women behind the blog!

Shayna from Pattern Pulp said...

This was beautifully put and I can relate to much of what you wrote. Head high Meg, you have a lot to be proud of. xs

Sharyn said...

Way to confess to agnosticism. Brave girl. I myself am a semi-closeted atheist. I had to giggle when you said that god coming down from heaven might make you a believer because I'd just think I had finally lost what's left of my marbles! :)

Thanks for making DC a little cooler!

Anonymous said...

You mean atheist. You are an atheist. Which is fine with me, just saying. Being an agnostic means you are uncertain, and it sounds like you are pretty certain.

Charity Hall said...

I'm so humbled by this...I think I need to do this post, not only for my readers (all 12 of them!:P) but for myself. Bravo to you! (and trust me, this Christian isn't unfollowing due to that one statement...we all have our own individual beliefs and we should embrace each other because of them, not in spite of them)

Lisa Mende said...

I think it is awesome to bare yourself and be honest with your readers! I admire that! Who knows I might do my own little post! if I do, I will let you know!!!!

eklatt said...

I've joined in today. It feels so much better to get this off my chest! Thanks for creating this great outlet!

xoxo

peacelovedecor.com

118060324399944719168 said...

A few breakdowns? Me too!! Love your post and I'm so glad you coordinated this. I bet it felt so awesome for you to share some of these things, huh? Today was a good day. Seriously.

Kecia said...

I appreciate these posts so much...and I can relate. Especially to your first one today. I'm currently in that same situation. Left Chicago when I married my husband to follow him to a VERY isolated town where he is stationed in the Army. Have been here 2.5 years and am miserable, lost my career with the move, and am lost in channeling energies into a new career. We get restationed this summer in Germany and am hoping it will be the start of my upswing. I don't like to air too much of my fears or the negative in my life on my blog either although recently I did. I was so frantic about it that after I posted it, I had a few too many wines, stubbed my toe and broke it. Nice. So much for that having been a rewarding experience. Anyways, your post helps remind me to hang in there and things will start getting better. Thank you so much for sharing.

xx
Kecia

http://www.couturezooblog.com/

Sally Rhys-Jones said...

wow. i have a knot in my chest after reading this - i feel exactly the same way on many of these points! specifically the not feeling successful yet & worrying that we will look back at this time we worked for ourselves & wishing we had tried harder & how depressing going out on your own can be sometimes 0 your right, its hard. VERY hard! One day though it will all be worth it! actually coming out & saying this stuff is a bit of a weight off your mind right? :) i for one love your blog & your style - if i were you id be very proud!

Marcy said...

Thank you so much for continuing this!!! And for sharing and exposing yourself. This is such a powerful movement. I posted about it on stylesson and hope so many more continue with it.

Becca - {extra}ordinary wonders said...

Thank you so much for organizing this Meg. It's been so good to connect with everyone on this. I really relate to so much of this. I love long hot showers, and my apartment is not nearly as together as one might expect from someone who designs home products.

Becca - {extra}ordinary wonders said...

Thank you so much for organizing this Meg. It's been so good to connect with everyone on this. I really relate to so much of this. I love long hot showers, and my apartment is not nearly as together as one might expect from someone who designs home products.

About Last Weekend said...

Just came over from Prippy Handbook, I dislike both kids and adults who do the baby talk. Like fingers on a chalk board to me

michelle tree said...

I made one :) this is a lovely movement, thanks for sharing!

Style Maniac said...

Meg, I relate to what you wrote on so many levels. What an amazing series, and I admire you for sharing so honestly.

Colleen / Inspired to Share said...

Thanks for sharing Meg. I can so relate to this.

My post is here:
http://www.inspiredtoshare.com/2012/05/things-im-afraid-to-tell-you/

xo

mrs. V said...

Thank you so much Meg for sharing and encouraging a second round to a great movement! It is reassuring to learn that the people that we have long admired and with whom we 'visit' daily have the same fears and are driven by similar passions and pressures to succeed. I started my blog this year after years of reading others and aside from birthing my daughter, it has been one of my most humbling experiences to date. I have such a renewed respect for this great blogging community and feel lucky to a be a part of it, even in just my neophyte way. Thank you. Thank you!

Emily

http://chezviviv.blogspot.com/2012/05/things-i-am-afraid-to-tell-you-im.html

J.Jehanne said...

I absolutely love this campaign and I love how transparent that you are in this post. I try my best to do the same in my blog but sometimes am afraid because it may be too personal. I too breakdown ALOT. Its nice to see that I am not the only one :)

Kristin said...

I had to jump on the bandwagon and contribute to this wave. I'm a little late, but here is the link to my post:
http://changeisnecessaryforgrowth.blogspot.com/2012/05/things-im-afraid-to-tell-you.html

Thanks! Kristin @ Change is Necessary for Growth

Jaclyn Kaye said...

This is such an awesome series! I really, really love it!!

Thanks for sharing your wonderful information!! I'd love to participate sometime.

Jaclyn
A Day in the Life and Mind...

Anna (A Newfound Treasure) said...

Thank you for doing this… I love it and just had to do it too!!

http://www.anewfoundtreasure.com/2012/05/real-nitty-gritty.html

Christen said...

Thanks for keeping this going! I decided to join too:

http://lovelifelists.blogspot.com/2012/05/things-im-afraid-to-tell-you.html

- Christen from La Vida Lista

Ms. Cathy said...

I can't tell you how inspirational this post was. I love the idea, it's genius - purely because it is super authentic and the real deal. We are all humans, each and every one of us. I realized after reading your post that we are not alone in our fears because I share a lot of the ones you mentioned. I'll be sure to participate!!

Cathy Trails

Antarctica said...

:)

Made me think there should be a BA, Bloggers Anonymous, to help people out.

Lydia N. said...

I haven't been blogging very long. In fact I don't even think I've gotten into the swing of things. I was starting to worry a lot about the image I was projecting, concerned it wasn't pretty enough , stylish enough, artistic enough...Your post was inspirational and comforting. It shows that it is ok to do what comes naturally. http://annhuuscameo.blogspot.com/2012/05/things-im-afraid-to-tell-you.html

Rhianne said...

Gosh I didnt even realise there was a second wave - how brave you all are to finally hit that publish button.

I love long showers too and sometimes feel bad about that as well.

Unknown said...

Thank you so much for this! It's really nice to see blogger movements in action, especially powerful ones.

Here's mine:
http://caitlincorsetti.com/things-im-afraid-to-tell-you

Unknown said...

I admire your ability to come out as an "agnostic". At times I feel bombarded with others religious views on the internet. I truly believe everyone has a right to their feelings/opinions/beliefs/morals, I just don't see why it's "necessary". So thanks for fighting for the agnostic team. Admittedly, I am not agnostic but rather atheist. Good for you! Keep up the amazingness. :]

ash said...

Thank you so much for sharing your atheist/agnostic views! I'm right with you sista! It seems so difficult these days for people to appreciate your freedom to not believe. They look at you like you've got three eyes!!! It's not easy to come out, but if more did, I think the stigma could start to fade some? You are so brave.

mybusinesstricks.com said...

Thanks for sharing

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